Hey boo I've been having lots of fun too this week. I like the feeling I get when I come home and your just laying on my bed reading. I like it when you stay here. I almost forgot that tonight is our last night sleeping in my bed for who knows how long but I'm happy and not worried about that. I can't wait to go to point Reyes. I hope we get the overlook becuase I semi know questions but I also hope we get the whale watching becuase we just get to look at the ocean and play around all day when no ones there. I hope we don't get seperated. I feel like we are going to be matched with other knowledgable docents :(

I hope you had a lot of fun these past couple of days and I hope that the earlier past hardships we had are said and done with. I look forward to a lot more happy days with no stupid interruptions. I like when we have a perfect streak of just endless happiness. It's fun. I like spending all of my time with you. It feels like we live together. Which reminds me I never told my parents you were ever sleeping over this week. Lol :D Welp

Hey boo. You're about to shower. I just want you to know that I love you so much and I know in my heart we will be together forever. I could never fathom leaving you for another human being. You are what my mid and heart is set on. You've treated me better and I feel a genuine sense of care and love from you. I never want to let you go. I'm so happy an I hope the rest of my day off is good. I hope we can sleep together tonight very happy and knowing that we will be in each others lives for a very long time. I love you Hannah and you are and always will fill my entire heart.

I really hope you blog back. I want to know what your thinking. I hope they don't expect me to be there friend again. I'm not just going become all better and start hanging out with them. They act nice to me but what comes first is you. If they can't act nice to you then I cant act nice to them. We are in this together and them wanting to hang out with me will only tear us apart. I'm taking my choice. And my choice is you. I want you and only you. Its my choice to not want to hang out with them anymore. Don't feel that your holding me back or anything. I'm doing this because I'm doing what makes me happy. I love you and I'm happy. I hope your happy too boo

I don't want to keep anything from you Hannah. I created that blog becuase I trying to find a way to cool off. But you are right. If I write it down it's only going to stick. I shouldn't write it down becuase I always feel differently a few hours later. Thank you for talking to me last night. A lot of what you said stuck and I will revert to a better way to comunicate my feelings too you. I love you Hannah. Also i think we have to reschedule the humboldt trip if possible. I'm still trying to get those days off but it's hard to get off 3 days in a row:( I'll keep trying though. I love you and want to snuggle next to you. Tomorrow we have nothing to wake up for. So we can stay out all night or cuddle or watch a movie. I just want to spend all day, night, and morning with you. I love you Hannah. Forever okay?

I totally understand why you don't want me drinking but I don't understand or see how it's fair that you get to drink wine. I drank barely any at the party. You've drank a whole glass of wine. Alcohol is alcohol. I dont know if this is to get back at me or just telling me wine is okay. I don't think it is. I just think its unfair you drink at this party and I just sit here. But I don't really know if I like you drinking or not. I'm for sure not going to kiss you. Well you'll get mad at me if I don't soooo I don't knowww :/

I'm writing this in the smallest font so you can"t read this while your sitting so cute in my bed :3 But anyhow this is basically a response to your blog. I know your pain with the whole adjusting your sleep thing. All I need is one little nap with you and I can't fall asleep without you for like two days. I adjust really fast to sleeping next to you though. I always find that the best way to sleep. I hate having leave at 5am in the morning from your side. Its fun waking up at 8:30 and laying in bed snuggling in our warmth and sometimes filth. I feel like one with you. This past week has been pretty down and had a few bad intervals, I wish none of it ever even happened because every time I do these things to you it breaks our trust more. I'm trying a conscious effort to stop drinking in its entirety. I k now that you don't want me to end up like my brother or how your dad was. So i'm not going to even take sips, no wine, no beer. I'll be fine. I hope you know that I don't smoke weed because I'm depressed, stressed or anything. If i could i would get CBD, the physical high of cannabis if I could. I like the relaxed and comfort you get from it. Like I said before I hate being high around people. I just do it for the bodily high. The mental high usually just gets me paranoid or i just end up watching anything, like anything, on television lol. I don't think you should be against it at all. There is really nothing bad about it. We fit together because we are alike in every way and we have the same way of solving problems and come to conclusions almost the exact way. We know what makes us happy, therefore we make each other happy. People may say we spend to much time together but that's their theory on life. Why? Why is it so crucial that we don't hang out together as much. What could possibly be the harm in it? You can still hangout with me all the time and still be interdependent and self serving. We still do all the things we like to do and were happy. No I'd never want to lose you, And I try to never think that you'll be out of my life. Knowing that someone will always be there for me with loving intents to everything they say or do is a wonderful feeling. I love you because of who you are and how you act, For the things you say, The stands you take, and the outlook on life you have. The day I stop loving you for you and start loving you for only a sole purpose of pleasure will be the day I forget all of my morals and self standards set in my heart and mind. I can never change who I am. We can only grow smarter and better. and the longer we stay by each other the more puzzle fits together, the more it binds each piece snugly with another.  Christmas has always been a happy day for me, and I think it should be happy for everyone. especially you. I'm sorry I never really seem want to love you. Its only when other people are around. It's just a thing, It only feels completely special when I'm alone with you in a bed with dim lighting and maybe some sensual music playing. Just wait for when go on the humboldt trip. If its just me and you then prepare your vagina. no. prepare your whole body. Its going to be a very long day and night, including different areas of the room and trips to the shower together. well try to take all that in for now. I love you and I wouldn't mind waking up at 7:30am again tomorrow, I'm a lot less grumpy and depressed at work. maybe its just because you slept next to me though ;)

Mrahhhh.
Why did you have a bad morning:( what was your mom doing this time .-.
Well anyways I hope today is a happy day. I feel like it will be. I hope it is. I on my way to go see you right now:)
Back at your house. Your moms yelling because everyday apparently she wants to try her hardest to make sure you know that she dosen't give a fuck. Welp I guess we should go to the store now but your on tumblr... So imma talk to you

Mrah. I love you boo. Im sorry i don't cook as much as I used to. Or take you to lots of movies. But we do a lot of other things too. We've done a whole lot more in our short time together then what I have ever experienced in the past. I love hanging out with you and I'm glad it's just me and you together. I hope tonight you go to bed happy knowing that I will always love you and never leave. Let's prove your mom wrong and be together forever and get married and have a long honeymoon on a cruise. Going on a cruise will be like going to sf or Santa Cruz or to your dads but times 10 plus you get unlimited food and unlimited me and you time. I don't know what i want to be right now. I'm in that awkward phase where I'm switching dreams. Maybe I'll be a teacher with you or maybe something else. And even if I do find a easy job where I do nothing I'm still going to use my time to the fullest. Like spend time with the kids and build tree hoses and make you dinner. Being a house dad is a full time job ya know haha. Well whatever happens i want both of us to be happy and never be sad about anything. I don't mind being at Linda's house anymore. But I feel unwelcomed by your mom. Which is true because she just wants you to be there. I think she just wants you home alone because she is home alone all the time. Like you could just be home alone and bored with her and she'd still be mad. Maybe you could talk to her about it and approach her in a way she won't yell at you but I doubt it:( so I thin for now we should hang out at Linda's together so she can't yell as much. Which I don't mind, we do that same things we do at my house that we do at yours basically. I want to get something spiritual for your room. There's less stress in the air I feel but there could always be more spiritual stuff. So expect something weird or cool In your room. I hope we like the moive:) I think we will, and I hope we have an awesome new years kiss together. I'm really looking forward to that. :)

What I'm feeling right now is happiness. I'm happy that we are together and I'm happy we are able to spend everyday with eachother. Soon we are going to have a week long sleep over at my house again. And this time we won't have to depart from each other or anything and we can do fun things like go to the beach and bake with my mixer and lay naked and be alone in my house more:3. Well hopefully. Hopefully I don't have to roll anymore. It was fun for awhile but now I'd rather work and get tips. It sure does pass time a lot quicker but it's sooo early. So I'll be looking forward to my old position soon. Also you should call little caesars soon. If you have work experience it's a major boost to get a job. And you can buy lots of pretty things. Well I'm really tired boo :(

Today is the second day of us spending the weekend together at your dads house. I really am excited to live up north. Things seem simple and relaxing, it's really good for schooling. And if our plans ever change I wouldn't mind living in a small little old house on a hill with a huge front yard full of grass an trees. Working a random job. But let's consider college first :3

Hey Hannah. I want you to know I'm really happy your in my life and I feel like Newark has a big negative impact on our life's. That's why I feel like five months isn't soon enough. I want to live with you surrounded by new people and start my life again with you. I feel that I have opened my heart fully to you and I want you to be in my life forever. I trust you that you'll stay in my life. And I have no reason not too. I'm glad we have found each other. I can't say that enough. Soon we will have wedding rings and have a kid or two. And we can forget our past and live in the present, which in turn will become our new past. A past we can look at and be happy to have it. I love you so much.

I was hoping I could make your day a little bit better today. Which I tested but today to me seemed like a failure in my eyes. I don't like it when you do home sad. I say one wrong thing and it all kind of collapses. I'm sorry I never do what I say I'm going to do. I should have woke up earlier. Because I didn't your mom argued with you and made your day even worse. I hope the tapioca made you feel a little better though. I really love you and miss you and want you to still be here. I know that you are unhappy right now and makes me really sad. I don't know what your doing as of right now. But I know you aren't smiling. I really want today to be over. I'm sorry Hannah. I wish I could make you magically better. I wish you and me could have traded family's so you would go to college and have a job and get uggs and all the clothes you wanted. I wouldn't mind living at Linda's as long as I knew you were happy.